Whether you\u2019ve failed to close a major deal, or you\u2019re overwhelmed by a looming deadline, throwing a pity party won\u2019t help. In fact, feeling sorry for yourself can become downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult \u2013 if not impossible – and it keeps you stuck.<\/p>\n
Mentally strong people refuse to allow self-pity to sabotage their success. Instead, they use life\u2019s inevitable hardships as a way to grow stronger and become better. Here\u2019s how mentally strong people avoid the self-pity trap:<\/p>\n
1. They Face their Feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n Mentally strong people allow themselves to experience emotions like grief, disappointment, and loneliness head-on. They don\u2019t distract themselves from uncomfortable emotions by questioning\u00a0whether their problems are fair, or by convincing themselves\u00a0they\u2019ve suffered more than those around them. They know the best way to deal with discomfort is to just get through it.<\/p>\n 2. They Recognize Warning Signs of the Downward Spiral<\/strong><\/p>\n When you focus on everything that is going wrong in your life, your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. And those negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if you dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people recognize when they\u2019re at risk of becoming caught in this downward spiral and they take action to prevent\u00a0themselves from living a pitiful life.<\/p>\n 3. They Question Their Perceptions<\/strong><\/p>\n Our emotional state influences how we perceive reality. When you\u2019re feeling sorry for yourself, you\u2019re likely to focus on the bad\u00a0things going on in your life, while overlooking the good. Mentally strong people question whether their thoughts represent reality.<\/p>\n They ask themselves questions like, \u201cIs my luck\u00a0always<\/em>\u00a0bad?\u201d or \u201cIs my entire life really ruined?\u201d Asking themselves these types of questions allows them to recognize when their outlook isn\u2019t realistic. This allows them to create a more realistic perception of their situation.<\/p>\n 4. They Turn their Negative Thoughts into Behavioral Experiments<\/strong><\/p>\n Mentally strong people don\u2019t allow their negative thinking to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, when they find themselves thinking things like, \u201cI could never put on a presentation as good as this one,\u201d they respond by saying, \u201cChallenge accepted!\u201d They perform behavioral experiments to prove their negative thinking wrong.<\/p>\n 5. They Reserve their Resources for Productive Activities<\/strong><\/p>\n Every minute you spend hosting your own pity party is 60 seconds you delay working on a solution. Mentally strong people refuse to waste their precious time and energy dwelling on their misery. Instead, they devote their finite resources to productive activities that can improve their situation.<\/p>\n 6. They Practice Gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s impossible to feel self-pity and gratitude at the same time. While self-pity is about thinking, \u201cI deserve better,\u201d gratitude is about thinking, \u201cI have more than I need.\u201d Mentally strong people recognize all that they have to be grateful for in life \u2013 right down to the fresh air to breathe and clean water to drink.<\/p>\n 7. They Help Other People<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you\u2019re helping those who are less fortunate. Problems like demanding customers or declining sales don\u2019t seem so bad when you\u2019re reminded that there are people who lack food and shelter. Rather than ruminate on their own inconveniences, mentally strong people strive to improve the lives of others.<\/p>\n 8. They Refuse to Complain<\/strong><\/p>\n Venting to other people about the magnitude of your problems fuels feelings of self-pity. Mentally strong people don\u2019t try to gain sympathy from others by complaining about their difficult circumstances. Instead, they either take action to make things better, or they accept the situations that they can\u2019t change.<\/p>\n 9. They Maintain an Optimistic Outlook<\/strong><\/p>\n Some of life\u2019s problems can\u2019t be prevented nor solved. The loss of loved ones, natural disasters, and certain health conditions are problems that most people will face at one time or another. Mentally strong people keep an optimistic outlook about their ability to handle whatever life throws their way.<\/p>\n Build Mental Strength<\/strong><\/p>\n Developing mental strength is similar to building physical strength. If you wanted to become physically strong you\u2019d need good habits \u2013 like lifting weights. But you\u2019d also need to get rid of bad habits, like eating too many sweets. Developing mental strength requires good habits \u2013 and it also requires you to give up destructive habits, like self-pity.<\/p>\n Everyone has the ability to build mental strength. By developing an increased ability to regulate your thoughts, manage your emotions and behave productively despite your circumstances, you\u2019ll grow stronger and become better.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By Amy Morin<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Whether you\u2019ve failed to close a major deal, or you\u2019re overwhelmed by a looming deadline, throwing a pity party won\u2019t help. In fact, feeling sorry for yourself can become downright self-destructive. It makes overcoming adversity difficult \u2013 if not impossible – and it keeps you stuck. Mentally strong people refuse to allow self-pity to sabotage<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4705,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[311,1],"tags":[566,571,522,549,508,321,551,528,540,524,510],"class_list":["post-4703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-research-insights","category-uncategorized","tag-atman","tag-dhuvida","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-gratitude","tag-leadership","tag-mental-health","tag-mindset","tag-resilience","tag-self-awareness","tag-stress-management","tag-yatra","enable-dropcap","disable-2-columns"],"yoast_head":"\n