Stanford University neurosurgeon Dr. James Doty tells\u00a0the\u00a0story of performing surgery on a little boy\u2019s brain tumor. In the middle of the procedure, the resident who is assisting him gets distracted\u00a0and accidentally pierces a vein. With blood shedding everywhere, Doty is no longer able to see\u00a0the delicate brain area he is working on. The boy\u2019s life is at stake. Doty is left with no other choice than to blindly reaching into the affected area in\u00a0the hopes of locating and\u00a0clamping the vein. Fortunately, he is successful.<\/p>\n
Most of us are not brain surgeons, but we certainly are all confronted with situations in which an employee makes a grave mistake, potentially ruining a critical project.<\/p>\n
The question is:\u00a0\u00a0How should we react when an employee is not performing well or makes a mistake?<\/em><\/p>\n Frustration is of course the natural response\u00a0\u2014 and one we all can identify with. Especially if the mistake hurts an important project or reflects badly upon us.<\/p>\n The traditional approach is to reprimand the employee in some way. The hope is that some form of punishment will be\u00a0beneficial: it will teach the employee a lesson. Expressing our frustration\u00a0also\u00a0may relieve us of the stress and anger caused by the mistake. Finally, it may help the rest of the team stay on their toes to avoid making future errors.<\/p>\n Some managers, however, choose a different response\u00a0when confronted by an underperforming employee: compassion and curiosity.\u00a0\u00a0Not that a part of them isn\u2019t frustrated or exasperated \u2014\u00a0maybe they still worry about how their employee\u2019s mistakes will reflect back on them \u2014\u00a0but they\u00a0are somehow able to suspend judgment and may even be able to use the moment to do a bit of coaching.<\/p>\n First, compassion and curiosity increase employee loyalty and trust.\u00a0Research\u00a0has shown that feelings of warmth and positive relationships at work have a greater say over employee loyalty than the size of their paycheck. \u00a0In particular,\u00a0a study\u00a0by Jonathan\u00a0Haidt\u00a0of New York University\u00a0shows\u00a0that the more employees look up to their leaders and are moved by their compassion\u00a0or kindness (a state he terms\u00a0elevation<\/em>), the more loyal they become to him or her. So if you are more compassionate to your employee, not only will he or she be\u00a0more\u00a0loyal to you, but anyone else who has witnessed your behavior may also experience elevation and feel more devoted to you.<\/p>\n Conversely, responding with anger or frustration erodes loyalty. As Adam Grant, Professor at\u00a0the\u00a0Wharton Business School and best-selling author of\u00a0Give & Take,<\/em>\u00a0points out that, because of the\u00a0law of reciprocity, if you\u00a0embarrass\u00a0or blame an employee too harshly, your reaction may end up coming around to haunt you. \u201cNext time you need to rely on that employee, you may have lost some of the loyalty that was there before,\u201d he told me.<\/p>\n We are\u00a0especially sensitive\u00a0to signs of trustworthiness in our leaders, and compassion increases our willingness to trust. Simply put, our brains respond more positively to bosses who have shown us empathy, as\u00a0neuroimaging research\u00a0confirms.\u00a0Employee trust\u00a0in turn\u00a0<\/em>improves performance.<\/p>\n Doty, who is also Director of Stanford University\u2019s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, recalls his first experience in the OR room. He was so nervous that he perspired profusely. Soon enough, a drop of sweat fell into the operation site and contaminated it. The operation was a simple one and the patients\u2019\u00a0life was in no way at stake. As for\u00a0the operation site, it could have been easily irrigated. However,\u00a0the operating surgeon \u2014\u00a0one of the biggest names in surgery at the time \u2014 was so angry that he kicked Doty out of the OR room. Doty recalls returning home\u00a0and\u00a0crying tears of devastation.<\/p>\n Tellingly, Doty explains in an interview how, if the surgeon had acted differently, he would have gained Doty\u2019s undying loyalty. \u201cIf the surgeon, instead of raging, had said\u00a0something\u00a0like:\u00a0Listen young man watch what just happened, you contaminated the field. I know you\u2019re nervous. You can\u2019t be nervous if you want to be a surgeon. Why don\u2019t you go\u00a0outside and take a few minutes to collect yourself. Readjust your cap in such a way that the sweat doesn\u2019t pour down your face. Then come back and I\u2019ll show you something.<\/em>\u00a0Well, then he\u00a0would\u00a0have been my hero forever.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only does an angry response erode loyalty and trust, it also inhibits creativity by jacking up the employee\u2019s stress levels. As Doty explains,\u00a0\u201cCreating an environment where\u00a0there\u00a0is fear,\u00a0anxiety and lack of trust makes people shut down. If people have fear and\u00a0anxiety, we know from neuroscience that their threat response is engaged, their cognitive control is impacted. As a consequence, their productivity and creativity diminish.\u201d For instance, brain imaging\u00a0studies\u00a0show\u00a0that, when we\u00a0feel\u00a0safe, our brain\u2019s stress response is lower.<\/p>\n Grant also agrees\u00a0that \u201cwhen you respond in a frustrated, furious manner, the employee becomes less likely to take risks in the future because s\/he worries\u00a0about the negative consequences of making mistakes. In other words, you kill the culture of experimentation that is critical to learning and innovation.\u201d\u00a0Grant refers to\u00a0research\u00a0by Fiona Lee at the University of Michigan that shows that promoting a culture of safety \u2014\u00a0rather than fear of negative consequences \u2013 helps encourage the spirit of experimentation so critical for creativity.<\/p>\n There is, of course, a reason we feel anger. Research shows that\u00a0feelings of anger can have beneficial results\u00a0\u2013 for example, they can\u00a0give us the energy to stand up against injustice.\u00a0Moreover, they make us appear more\u00a0powerful. However, when as a leader you express negative emotions like anger,\u00a0your employees actually view you as less effective. Conversely, being likable and projecting warmth \u2014\u00a0not toughness \u2014\u00a0gives leaders a distinct advantage, as Amy Cuddy of\u00a0Harvard Business School\u00a0has shown.<\/p>\n So how can you respond with more compassion the next time an employee makes a serious mistake?<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0Take a moment.\u00a0<\/strong>Doty explains that the first thing is\u00a0to get a handle on your own emotions \u2014\u00a0anger, frustration, or whatever the case may be.\u00a0\u201cYou\u00a0have\u00a0to take a step back and control your own emotional response because if you act out of emotional engagement, you are not thoughtful about your approach to the problem. By stepping back and taking a period of time to reflect, you enter a mental state that allows for a more thoughtful, reasonable and discerned response.\u201d\u00a0Practicing meditation can help\u00a0improve your\u00a0self-awareness and emotional control.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t want to operate from a place where you are just pretending not to be angry. Research shows that this kind of pretense\u00a0actually ends up raising both your and your employee\u2019s heart rates. Instead, take\u00a0some\u00a0time to cool off so you can see\u00a0the\u00a0situation with more detachment.<\/p>\n 2. Put yourself in your employees\u2019 shoes. \u00a0<\/strong>Taking a step back will help give you the ability to empathize with your employee. Why was\u00a0Dr. Doty, in the near-tragic OR moment, able to respond compassionately to his resident? As a consequence of recalling his own first experience in the OR room, he could identify and empathize with the resident. This allowed him to\u00a0curb his frustration, avoid degrading\u00a0the already horrified resident, and maintain\u00a0the presence of mind to save a little boy\u2019s life.<\/p>\n The ability to perspective-take is a valuable one. Studies have shown\u00a0that it\u00a0helps you\u00a0see aspects of the situation you\u00a0may not have noticed\u00a0and leads to better results in interactions and negotiations. And because\u00a0positions of power tend to lower our natural inclination for empathy, it is particularly important that managers have the self-awareness to make sure they practice seeing\u00a0situations\u00a0form their employee\u2019s perspective.<\/p>\n 3. Forgive.<\/strong>\u00a0Empathy, of course,\u00a0helps\u00a0you forgive.<\/p>\n Forgiveness not only strengthens your\u00a0relationship\u00a0with your employee by promoting loyalty, it\u00a0turns out that it is also good for you. Whereas carrying a grudge is bad for your heart (blood pressure and heart rate\u00a0both go up), forgiveness\u00a0lowers both your blood pressure\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0that of the person you\u2019re forgiving.\u00a0Other studies show that forgiveness\u00a0makes you happier and more satisfied\u00a0with life,\u00a0significantly\u00a0reducing\u00a0stress and\u00a0negative emotions.<\/p>\n When trust, loyalty, and creativity are high, and stress is low, employees are happier and more productive, and turnover is lower.\u00a0Positive interactions\u00a0even make employees\u00a0healthier\u00a0and require\u00a0fewer sick days. Other studies have shown how compassionate management leads to improvements in\u00a0customer service\u00a0and client\u00a0outcomes and satisfaction.<\/p>\n Doty told me he\u2019s never thrown anyone out of his OR. \u201cIt\u2019<\/em>s not that I let them off the hook, but by choosing a compassionate response when they know they have made a mistake, they are not destroyed, they have learned a lesson, and they want to improve for you because you\u2019ve been kind to them.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n By Emma Seppala<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Stanford University neurosurgeon Dr. James Doty tells\u00a0the\u00a0story of performing surgery on a little boy\u2019s brain tumor. In the middle of the procedure, the resident who is assisting him gets distracted\u00a0and accidentally pierces a vein. With blood shedding everywhere, Doty is no longer able to see\u00a0the delicate brain area he is working on. The boy\u2019s life<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[311],"tags":[566,529,555,522,539,505,546,508,530,512,540,524,504,525],"class_list":["post-4541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-research-insights","tag-atman","tag-compassion","tag-devotion","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-empathy","tag-ethics","tag-humility","tag-leadership","tag-mindfulness","tag-nati","tag-self-awareness","tag-stress-management","tag-values","tag-work-place","enable-dropcap","disable-2-columns"],"yoast_head":"\n