{"id":4161,"date":"2023-11-06T18:15:15","date_gmt":"2023-11-06T12:45:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ksrini.life\/journal\/?p=4161"},"modified":"2023-11-09T18:52:04","modified_gmt":"2023-11-09T13:22:04","slug":"managing-yourself-why-you-should-make-time-for-self-reflection-even-if-you-hate-doing-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ksrini.life\/journal\/managing-yourself-why-you-should-make-time-for-self-reflection-even-if-you-hate-doing-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing Yourself-Why You Should Make Time for Self-Reflection (Even If You Hate Doing It)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When people find out I\u2019m&nbsp;an executive coach, they often ask who my toughest clients are. Inexperienced leaders? Senior leaders who think they know everything? Leaders who bully and belittle others? Leaders who shirk responsibility?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The answer is none of the above. The hardest leaders to coach are those who won\u2019t reflect \u2014 particularly leaders who won\u2019t reflect on&nbsp;<em>themselves<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At its simplest, reflection is about careful thought. But the kind of reflection that is really valuable to leaders is more nuanced than that. The most useful reflection involves the conscious consideration and analysis of beliefs and actions for the purpose of learning. Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions. For leaders, this \u201cmeaning making\u201d is crucial to their ongoing growth and development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research&nbsp;by Giada Di Stefano, Francesca Gino, Gary Pisano,&nbsp;and Bradley Staats&nbsp;in call centers demonstrated that employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting about lessons learned performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. A&nbsp;study&nbsp;of UK commuters found a similar result when those who were prompted to use their commute to think about and plan for their day were happier, more productive, and less burned out than people who didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, if reflection is so helpful, why don\u2019t many leaders do it?&nbsp; Leaders often:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t understand the process.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/strong>Many leaders don\u2019t know how to reflect. One executive I work with, Ken, shared recently that he had yet again not met his commitment to spend an hour on Sunday mornings reflecting. To help him get over this barrier, I suggested he take the next 30 minutes of our two-hour session and just quietly reflect and then we\u2019d debrief it. After five minutes of silence, he said, \u201cI guess I don\u2019t really know what you want me to do. Maybe that\u2019s why I haven\u2019t been doing it.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t like the process.<\/strong>&nbsp;Reflection requires leaders to do a number of things they typically don\u2019t like to do: slow down, adopt a mindset of not knowing and curiosity, tolerate messiness and inefficiency, and take personal responsibility. The process can lead to valuable insights and even breakthroughs \u2014 and it can also lead to feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, defensiveness, and irritation.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t like the results.<\/strong>&nbsp;When a leader takes time to reflect, she typically sees ways she was effective as well as things she could have done better. Most leaders quickly dismiss the noted strengths and dislike the noted weaknesses. Some become so defensive in the process that they don\u2019t learn anything, so the results are not helpful.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Have a bias towards action.&nbsp;<\/strong>Like soccer goalies, many leaders have a bias toward action. A&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S0167487006001048\">study<\/a>&nbsp;of professional soccer goalies defending penalty kicks found that goalies who stay in the center of the goal, instead of lunging left or right, have a 33% chance of stopping the goal, and yet these goalies only stay in the center 6% of the time. The goalies just feel better when they \u201cdo something.\u201d &nbsp;The same is true of many leaders. Reflection can feel like staying in the center of the goal and missing the action.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Can\u2019t see a good ROI.<\/strong>&nbsp; From early roles, leaders are taught to invest where they can generate a positive ROI \u2014 results that indicate the contribution of time, talent or money paid off.&nbsp; Sometimes it\u2019s hard to see an immediate ROI on reflection \u2014 particularly when compared with other uses of a leader\u2019s time.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have found yourself making these same excuses, you can become more reflective by practicing a few simple steps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Identify some important questions.&nbsp;<\/strong>But don\u2019t answer them yet. Here are some possibilities:\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What are you avoiding?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How are you helping your colleagues achieve their goals?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How are you&nbsp;<em>not<\/em>&nbsp;helping or even hindering their progress?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How might&nbsp;you be contributing to your least enjoyable relationship at work?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How could you have been more effective in a recent meeting?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Select a reflection process that matches your preferences<\/strong>.&nbsp; Many people reflect through writing in a journal.&nbsp; If that sounds terrible but talking with a colleague sounds better, consider that.&nbsp; As long as you\u2019re reflecting and not just chatting about the latest sporting event or complaining about a colleague, your approach is up to you.&nbsp; You can sit, walk, bike, or stand, alone or with a partner, writing, talking, or thinking.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Schedule time.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/strong>Most leaders are driven by their calendars. So, schedule your reflection time and then commit to keep it. And if you find yourself trying to skip it or avoid it, reflect on that!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Start small.<\/strong>&nbsp; If an hour of reflection seems like too much, try 10 minutes.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2011\/05\/the-power-of-small-wins\">Teresa Amabile<\/a>&nbsp;and her colleagues found that the most significant driver of positive emotions and motivation at work was making progress on the tasks at hand. Set yourself up to make progress, even if it feels small.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Do it.<\/strong>&nbsp;Go back to your list of questions and explore them. Be still. Think. Consider multiple perspectives. Look at the opposite of what you initially believe. Brainstorm. You don\u2019t have to like or agree with all of your thoughts \u2014 just think and to examine your thinking.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Ask for help<\/strong>. For most leaders, a lack of desire, time, experience, or skill can get in the way of reflection.&nbsp; Consider working with a colleague, therapist, or coach to help you make the time, listen carefully, be a thought partner, and hold you accountable.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Despite the challenges to reflection, the impact is clear. As Peter Drucker said:&nbsp;\u201cFollow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection, will come even more effective action.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By Jennifer Porter<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When people find out I\u2019m&nbsp;an executive coach, they often ask who my toughest clients are. Inexperienced leaders? Senior leaders who think they know everything? Leaders who bully and belittle others? Leaders who shirk responsibility? The answer is none of the above. The hardest leaders to coach are those who won\u2019t reflect \u2014 particularly leaders who<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4228,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[311],"tags":[542,552,501,457,502,510],"class_list":["post-4161","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-research-insights","tag-dilemma","tag-purpose","tag-ramayana","tag-self","tag-soul","tag-yatra","enable-dropcap","disable-2-columns"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Managing Yourself-Why You Should Make Time for Self-Reflection (Even If You Hate Doing It) - ksrini Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ksrini.life\/journal\/managing-yourself-why-you-should-make-time-for-self-reflection-even-if-you-hate-doing-it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Managing Yourself-Why You Should Make Time for Self-Reflection (Even If You Hate Doing It) - ksrini Journal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When people find out I\u2019m&nbsp;an executive coach, they often ask who my toughest clients are. 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