There is a well-known saying I like to quote: “I’m not tomato soup.” It means one does not try to please everyone with a recipe that is impossible to dislike, and I say it because if you are determined to achieve certain goals, there will be people who feel uncomfortable about it. The pain and loneliness of the path to the top is a price many don’t want to pay, but it is often one that can’t be avoided if you are to realize your ambitions.
The consolation is that people who authentically live their values as they pursue their ambitions often succeed, even if it means being ruthless. Ambition can be inspirational and win admiration if done ethically and in pursuit of an ethical goal.
In this article, I’ll delve into the nuanced interplay between ambition and integrity. How can you avoid being “tomato soup” and ensure you are ethical in your business and professional conduct?
Nice Guys Finish Last
Only the very few who are blessed with extraordinary luck or talent rise to achieve their goals without trying. Most of us have to break sweat, feel the burn and fall on our faces a few times. We must persist, take ourselves seriously and stay focused, even if it means not caring what others think. Ambition means competing, and competing sorts winners from losers. Your success means someone else’s disappointment and failure, and that could be the person who sits next to you at work. Living with that can feel uncomfortable. So, what can you do about it so it doesn’t hold you back?
Few of us would want to admit to being tomato soup (or that other food that’s a byword for the bland: vanilla), but who wants to be toxic? In our drive for success, the ideal is to nourish and win supporters as we advance. But we have to know the difference between winning admiration, trust and respect and making ourselves liked. Nice guys may finish last, but that doesn’t mean winners must be nasty.
The Pitfalls Of People-Pleasing
Pleasing everyone is a fatal but very common temptation in the workplace. “Nice guy syndrome” triggers contempt in others because it is so clearly rooted in insecurities and a fear of rejection. The foundation for trust and mutual respect lies in honesty and authenticity in personal and professional relationships. People pleasers will say or do anything to keep people liking them, demonstrating weakness and a lack of true purpose.
The Power Of Purposeful Leadership
Aspiring entrepreneurs must endure the “loneliness of the long-distance runner” when pursuing their goals. Once a goal has become an achievement—a leadership position, for example—it must be maintained, and that takes more than mere ambition or just wanting it more than your rivals do. It needs a narrative grounded in values that dictate daily routines that shape character. If you want to stay successful, your supporters must believe in what you’re doing because it comes from a set of beliefs they admire.
In business, individuals who combine determination with values attract support and collaboration. Their focus, for example, on building remarkable brands, driving meaningful change or exhibiting exceptional leadership is inspirational and highly attractive. They may be tough on themselves and those around them and they may be demanding, but if they have a compelling vision and a passion for excellence, we want to be near them.
Leading With Clarity And Compassion
There’s an old saying that’s been credited to playwright Wilson Mizner: “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you’ll meet the same people on the way down.” This is true in any business. Effective leadership requires the difficult-to-handle qualities of toughness and determination, but it also needs a measure of compassion for team members. Kindness is crucial. And in business, that comes in a host of different guises: setting boundaries, giving constructive feedback, expressing gratitude, being present in conversations and being a positive “gossiper”—spreading the good news about someone’s achievements or qualities. Strong leaders also create space for dialogue and growth in subordinates, help them to voice their concerns and cultivate an environment of trust and collaboration.
As we climb the career ladder, articulating a broader purpose is good business. Showing that ethical goals and standards are more important to you than personal advancement also tells people that your business has a purpose that is not solely about profit. If we take the risk of consistently committing to sustainability, diversity and inclusion, or championing social responsibility, for example, we signal that we’re willing to stand up for what we believe in. Self-seeking, for its own sake, sucks.
In the intricate tapestry of business, navigating the intersection of ambition and integrity is a tough call. By embracing purposeful leadership, negotiating with clarity and compassion and articulating ethical goals, we can succeed because we have supporters who believe in our values. An unwavering commitment to values and vision distinguishes true leaders and allows them to be the most authentic they can be, not the people-pleasing “tomato soup.”
By Anna Jankowska
